In the opening of Act I the two couples, Wingsong and Dan and Melinda and Jasper are trying to light the grill .

DAN
Who all’s coming to this thing anyway?

WINDSONG
Everybody.

DAN
Boys and girls?

WINDSONG
Yes, boys and girls.

DAN
I hope we get good presents. Hey -- did you see -- you can get your baby these onesies
with like, bands on them. Good bands. Like the Dead Kennedys.

MELINDA
Really?

JASPER
That depresses me for some reason.

WINDSONG
Or we saw one that said, “I might vomit.”
(Giggles.)

DAN
Here we go.
(Dan puts on a cd. It’s Brazilian samba music.)

JASPER
Always a crowd pleaser.

DAN
It’s your cd.
(Dan takes Windsong by the hand and starts to dance
with her. Melinda is setting the table.)

JASPER
Tom and Karen just got back from Costa Rica. They rented a car and drove down the
coast. They were telling me about it last night...
(No one is listening.)
It sounded pretty cool.

WINDSONG
Ouch.
(Stops dancing.)

DAN
Sciatica?
WINDSONG

Yeah.
(Dan goes to the cooler and gets a beer. Windsong
follows.)

MELINDA
(To Jasper.)
Why does it depress you?

JASPER
What?

MELINDA
The Dead Kennedys onesie.

JASPER
Okay. You just said “Dead Kennedys onesie.” That doesn’t ....

MELINDA
What?

JASPER
It’s supposed to be like, rebellious, counter-culture, music-you-listen-to-when-you’refifteen-
to-drive-your-parents-crazy. Not, you know, an accessory. For your baby.

MELINDA
I think it’s funny.

JASPER
It’s just that I kind of feel like everything I ever liked is being appropriated by idiots and
completely ruined.
(Windsong is rummaging around in the cooler.)

MELINDA
They wouldn’t make it if it didn’t sell.

WINDSONG
(To Dan.)
I thought you bought me some near beer.

DAN
I don’t see how you can drink that crap.

WINDSONG
I feel all left out when everybody’s drinking.

JASPER
You know, I’m pretty positive my mom drank like a fish when she was pregnant with
me, so you must have to really --

DAN
(Interrupts.)
Yeah, like it was fine until 1980, then all of a sudden one beer and your baby’s brain dead.

MELINDA
It’s called fetal alcohol syndrome.

JASPER
Then why don’t I have it?

MELINDA
(Smiles.)
Who says you don’t.

In Act 1 Tom and Karen begin discussing with Windsong, Dan, Melinda and Jasper about why and when they decided to have children.

TOM
So you want to be parents.

MELINDA
We sort of turned a corner last year.

TOM
Did something in particular happen?

MELINDA
It was just sort of abstract before that. But then that completely cliched thing happened
where I started seeing babies and wanting to grab them. And seemed like I was telling
myself something. That we were ready to move forward.

KAREN
Well. Then. The timing is probably good.

JASPER
Yeah?

KAREN
Well, your lease is up in October. So you could move before anything happens.

TOM
If you want to move to a bigger place.

KAREN
Which everyone does. Who wants sangria?
(Starts to pour.)

WINDSONG
That looks great.

KAREN
So is this something your parents want you to do?

JASPER
My parents do. Not that I care. But they do. And Windsong’s parents really used to
pressure us –

WINDSONG
They did?

KAREN
(Overlapping.)
Why?

JASPER
Because ...

MELINDA
You said “Windsong’s parents.”

JASPER
I did?
(Laughs.)
That’s weird.

DAN
Yeah.
(They look at Jasper.)

MELINDA
My parents used to pressure us. Then I think they gave up.

JASPER
And your sister had kids.

MELINDA
And Suzanne had kids. So they sort of focused on her.

KAREN
Sure.

MELINDA
That’s not why we’re doing it, though.

TOM
Then why are you?

DAN
You have to replace yourself in the gene pool.

KAREN
You do?

DAN
Yeah.

JASPER
Why?

DAN
Because you’ll disappear, otherwise.